when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
