no, he came in my armpit
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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