i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
