There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
