First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
