You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
