sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
