doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
