i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
