You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you had me at cake vodka
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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