the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
