I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
