She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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