I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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