I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
