i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
