How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
