Christians are straight up FREAKS
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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