His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
a search helicopter?!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
