Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
