Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dignity is for republicans.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
