how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
