Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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