thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
