i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
