he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
