Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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