Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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