so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
