lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
