She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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