How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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