It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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