Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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