"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
