he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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