dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
