her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
