doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
