jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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