everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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