I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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