That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize