You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
