im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
