we have officially lost it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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