i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I deserve this hangover.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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