i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
