You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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