We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
