So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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